I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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