areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
