so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
