So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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