Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just pee around me
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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