Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
third nipple confirmed
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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