Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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