a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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