I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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