i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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