I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
