wakey wakey hands off snakey
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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