therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
