i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
