So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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