im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
