I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
