I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize