Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
