Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
