i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
