no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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