Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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