White coat. Heels.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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