Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
