But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
