If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We got so high we made milksteak
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
