i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
