My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
