since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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