i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
