Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
