Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
