i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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