There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
