it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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