Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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