I think I died a long time ago.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
