Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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