Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
