And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
