I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
