I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
