I just made out with a guy for $7.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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