Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
