I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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