what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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