he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I need moral support for this bender
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
