So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
