you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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